I got sick of messing with the stupid formatting on this blog.

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Another great weekend in Bentonville! My friend Andy came down for a visit, which was a blast. Bentonville had their own version of an Art Walk in the square downtown, which, although it was interesting to see and there were some very talented people present, it was nothing compared to Springfield’s. We went to Kennedy Coffee (which makes that trip #3 for me in one week…can you say addicted?), and then headed down to Fayetteville. We walked around the University of Arkansas campus (which was on my list of things to do while I was here this summer), and that was a blast. Their campus is not only gorgeous, but huge. We stopped and had a play in a fountain, and attempted breaking into their football stadium.

We just so happened to come across an open gate, but then a maintenance guy showed up. Luckily though, Andy sweet-talked him into letting us have a look see. Let me just say…one section of their seating was larger than the entire bleacher set at MSU. They sure do love their Razorbacks! We also found a sweet tree to climb. However, that tree wanted to leave me with a sweet little reminder of the trip, so I currently have the nastiest bruise I’ve ever had in my life on my thigh. No shorts for me for awhile. Great.

We then had a walk around downtown. I freaking love Fayetteville. It’s such a great little college town. As much as I love Springfield, I’m pretty sure the U of A would’ve been a strong contender in my choices for college a few years ago (minus that whole out-of-state-tuition thing). Downtown was adorable. There was this awesome little French antiques store that I will most definitely be revisiting sometime in the next few weeks. I’m sure I won’t be able to afford anything, but it’ll be sweet to look.

On Saturday, I had the huge blessing of making some money. Where I work also serves as a meeting place for events such as weddings, receptions, etc. When we rent out the place, a few of us have to be there to help things run smoothly. And we do it for $20/hour. Considering I have NO form of income this summer, this was a huge blessing. Not to mention, it gave me something to do for 5 hours. It was nice to be active for a few hours, make some money, and chat with one of my coworkers.

Clumsy moment of the weekend #2: I knocked a glass of the counter, and it proceeded to land on my foot/the floor and break. I have a nice little cut on the top of my foot now, along with another bruise. Luckily this one looks a hell of a lot nicer, but it hurts like a mother. In addition to no shorts, I won’t be wearing flip flops for awhile, either.

Saturday night, my roommates were home with a group of other girls from camp. I ended up getting ice cream at Coldstone with my roommate, Robyn, and one of her coworkers. Nothing beats a little girl talk and some ice cream.

This morning was another interesting day, but I think I’m still processing it. Let me just say that, life is really awesome right now, and I love being in Bentonville. However, I’m not sure WHY it’s going so well, so I’m waiting for things to take a turn for the worse, which is ruining how well things are going right now. It’s a vicious cycle, really.

You know you're in Arkansas when..

• When you find yourself picking up that annoying-yet-kinda-cute Southern accent that only some Arkansans have.
• When everyone you pass in the park says hello.
• When you're driving on an empty back, country road, and an old man working on his tractor waves hello.
• When you drive 7 miles on a dirt and gravel "road" to experience the best waterfall ever.
• When you stop at a gas station in the middle of nowhere lost, and not only does the proprietor give you great directions to said waterfall, but also tells you to come back if you can't find it, because he'll drive you out there himself.
• When a group of college kids all run to their cars to grab their shot guns to shoot a snake that is enjoying a late afternoon swim in YOUR swimming hole.
• Also when one said college student flicks (flips!) off the "dead" snake.
• Also when said college students retrieve said "dead" snake, discover it's not quite dead yet, and they all go off in a hunt for large rocks, which, once found, are used to finish the job.
• When someone at church uses the phrase "You'll be up a creek in a chicken wire canoe".
• When you have a conversation with an older man in the Local section at Borders that starts out with a question about whether or not I've seen a book on rivers in Arkansas, and it turns into a 10 minute conversation about weather and where we're both originally from. His name was Gil. We shook hands.
• there are multiple "Wal-Mart Drives".
• You can drive on back country roads for 3 hours and enjoy every last second of it.

Here I am, at my internship, blogging. And this time, it's not about pantyhose. Oops!

(In my defense, my boss isn't here and gave me very little to do to tide me over the couple of days she'd be gone.)

I have finally settled down in good ol' Bentonville, and I kinda like it. The past few days have been rather relaxing, and it takes talent to fill time as creatively as I do. I've been watching entirely too much Friday Night Lights (I say this like that needs to change. Let's get real...I'll keep watching fervently until the Season 5 Finale.), I'm completely unpacked, I journeyed to Wal-Mart (although this one was store #100, not #1...which is most definitely on the list of things to see this summer) and stocked my fridge and pantry, took a rather intense stroll around a local park, Compton Gardens, and ran into a deer friend, and spent some time soaking in my Jacuzzi bathtub (try not to be TOO jealous).

Overall, I do like it here. Granted I've only been here by myself for less than 72 hours, but I genuinely think I will do just fine. I have every intention of finding a church to attend on Sunday mornings, and I'm hoping to meet some people (how lame do I sound right now?! Gosh.).

"Assume that your present circumstance is God's blessing."

I heard this quote in a sermon I listened to the other day, and it really struck me. Before this quote, the guy, Mark Driscoll, was talking about how we interpret situations based on how we think of God. Some recent events, other than moving to Bentonville for the summer, have had me in a tizzy. I was getting extremely worked up and frustrated. Not to mention hurt. Looking back on it, it's ridiculous, if only because I didn't know (and still don't know) the whole story. But I have to trust God that this present circumstance is his blessing to me. If things do turn out the way I originally thought they would (i.e. badly), they will still be God's blessing to me. He very well may be saving me from being hurt further in the future and/or preventing me from wasting my time. And if things turn out the way I'm hoping, then I've learned a valuable lesson (even if it's only that I need to be way less dramatic).

I'm most definitely looking forward to seeing what happens this summer.

P.S. I'll post my own pictures later :)

I have a confession to make: I'm scared shitless. Of this summer. Of next semester. Of graduating in December. Of leaving Springfield in January. Of being thrown out in the "real world" without a clue as to what the crap I'm supposed to do on a daily basis. I. am. scared. SHITLESS.

While I am excited about my internship this summer, I'm not quite as excited for all the down time I'll have that I will, undoubtedly, spend by myself, in front of either the TV or my computer. I've been trying to think of things to do that will fill my time this summer (i.e. the reason why I've been putting off catching up on Lost), but then I realized that my fear isn't all that extra time to myself. My fear is being alone. I'll go to work each morning with two older women, and then I'll come home to an empty house. Then what? A girl can only watch so many movies, and start/finish so many TV series before she starts to feel a little lonely. I know that I will have to fight to find community this summer--- and (let's make another confession) that is downright humbling and painfully awkward at times.
Fear #2: Not growing where I've been planted. I know that I got this internship in Bentonville for a reason this summer, and my fear is that I'll run from that reason by escaping to Springfield every weekend (or having small pieces of Springfield escape to me...thank you Beth, Aaron, and Eden!).
Is there a balance between these two things? How much can I fight to have and maintain community without running from where I've been put? Do I need to fight for the community that I already have in Springfield from 150 miles away? Or do I need to find new community in Bentonville? If so, how the crap do I do that?

And that's only for the next 3 months. What about after this summer? I'll be fine mid-August through mid-December. I'll even survive through January. But once my lease is over on January 31st, what the hell do I do then? Do people (a.k.a. my parents and high school friends) really expect me to move back to St. Louis, back into my parents house, and be perfectly OK with it, when I haven't lived there in 4 years? When I've been building a life somewhere else for the past 4 1/2 years? Especially a life that I'm quite fond of. I think they do expect that, which only makes it that much worse.

I often find myself fighting that deep, in-the-pit-of-your-stomach worry, that I've been rationalizing lately by calling it "anxiety". Plainly put, I'm a worry wart, and that's no bueno for me, considering my life for the next several months is a big, fat question mark. I listened to a sermon from my church in St. Louis on worry, and something they said really stuck with me: Worry is the anti-prayer. When you worry, you make your problems bigger, and God smaller. When you pray, you make God bigger, and your problems smaller. And I need a bigger God than the one I currently have. They also pointed out that it's helpful to know Scripture that is specific to your worry. And I firmly believe this. Didn't Jesus use specific verses to ward off Satan?

26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.
(Acts 17:26-17)

24The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
(1 Thessalonians 5:24)

I'm still scared shitless. But at least I can remember that God is faithful, and he determined the times and places for me for the next 7 months.

Blessings upon blessings

If I were to sit here and type out all the ways that I have been obviously and blatantly blessed by God, I would sit here for quite some time. So maybe I'll just stick with the more recent blessings?

Blessing #1: My internship. This was a cause of concern for mine for quite some time. I contacted image consultant after image consultant. Of the 15 or so people I contacted, I think I heard back from...3? And two of those responses were negative. The one and only image consultant I heard back from was more than willing and ready to take me on as an intern. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but they LOVED me, which was super encouraging. I have a lot of anticipation for this summer. I'm looking forward to the work I'll be doing for the internship. I'm also looking foward to (insert drumroll here)...living in Bentonville? Yep. I like to think Arkansas is a pretty awesome state, and I'm hoping to ditch those pantyhose on the weekends and trade them in for hiking boots (or, in my case, tennis shoes).

Blessing #2: While I had high hopes for living in Bentonville, I did have one concern: I didn't know anybody there but the 2 women I'd be working with. Here's where my concern comes in-- last time I was put in a place for an extended period of time where I didn't know anyone, I ended up leaving said place with some habits, one in particular, that I probably would not have picked up had I been in my comfortable bubble. After kicking said habit, I'm nervous to see how well I do on my own this time around. Here's where the blessing comes in. The other night, I go to Heroe's Coffee (which I never go to) with my friend Lauren (who I never hang out with), and she just so happens to run into a friend who is just so also doing an internship in Bentonville and she just so happens to not know anyone there, either. Instant friends! And the funny thing is...we know TONS of the same people. So I'm not sure why we've never met before?

Blessing #3: To put it shortly, Laura Pearson. That girls blesses my heart so much, and I know for a fact that it is not intentional. I love watching her anytime that girl sings her little heart out to her loving Father with arms raised high. Gives me goosebumps. Every. Time. Not only that, but she is so strong. Recent events in her life have not deterred her from knowing God's goodness, and love, and joy. And that is such an encouragement to me.

Ugh. I did it. I created a blog.

I've done this whole blogging thing before. Can I be honest about past blogs ? It totally blew up in my face. Stupid high school drama.

BUT. I'm going to try again. I have a few friends, one of whom is currently living on the lovely-but-tiny Reunion Island in the vast Indian Ocean, the other of whom is blogging about her year of singleness/celibacy. They have both inspired me to pick up this whole blogging thing once again--unfortunately I am not studying abroad or giving myself a year long goal to blog about. Instead, I am currently living in Springfield, Missouri, and am not single by choice. But Beth says I don't have to have a specific topic. Good to know.

I also figured this whole blogging thing would be good practice for this summer. I'm doing an internship with Image Matters, Inc down in Bentonville, Arkansas this summer, and part of my internship is a bi-weekly blog. I'm not gonna lie..I was pretty stinkin excited when I found out about that part. For whatever reason, I fairly enjoy writing, so this will be interesting! I already know my first topic for that blog. Pantyhose. Yep.